Resolutions 2014

What a deliciously odd year 2013 has been. I think I’ve done so much, but also lived most of the year in a daze which hasn’t subsided. One of the perils of a whirlwind year, I suppose.

Looking back at my resolutions for this year, while I’ve checked so many of them off the list — more than I would have expected — I still feel the year was a bit of a failure in many regards. It was like winning all the battles but losing the war. Re-reading that old post, I wanted to put down some roots; in actuality, I feel even more lost than before. As tweeted, I threw everything to the wind to see what would fly.

Of the five resolutions for 2013, I think four are probably successes to varying degrees:

  • Get promoted. It didn’t happen in the first cycle of the year, which no doubt triggered some (most?) of the craziness that was the latter half of the year. But it did happen in the later cycle. So things are good.
  • Not be afraid to say I love ballet. This was a banner year for me in many ways, from doing some great shows to meeting awesome friends in adult dance camp. And given that this was the year that I’ve felt genuinely pained and anguished by certain aspects of ballet, it must be love, right? Not to mention just how annoyed I am about my ankle preventing my dancing right now.
  • Buy a house/condo. A partial victory here as I enter the slumlord business.
  • Not be too depressed about that birthday on the horizon. Things aren’t quite so bad, and I think I’ve made my peace with much of being on this side of thirty.

And of course, “be in a relationship”, a perennial favorite, remained ever elusive. I’m a slow learner, but I think there was a little progress even here.

My resolutions for 2014:

  • Tell my family I love them. It’s not that I don’t feel it, but I’m not sure I’ve ever said it. They’re not sentimental types, as far as I can tell.
  • Write more. I have no idea if anyone derives any pleasure reading all this junk, but I’ve begun to realize that, for me, this is a necessary catharsis. There’s something strange and wonderful about sending all your thoughts and grievances out into the aether, knowing that anyone can read it but so very few — the ones that matter — will. Yes, this feels more and more amateurish each passing year, but isn’t that life?
  • Shoulder sit or quit. It’s getting to be a little embarrassing this glacial progress in partnering. If my ankle heals up, I think it’ll be time to double down again on dance, and if that fails, find something new to pursue.
  • Keep chasing unicorns. Never give up that sense of wonder. Believe that dreams can and do come true.

And if I finally exit this zombie-like trance, that would be fine by me.