These Magic Moments

Theater week is always a crazy time when work work always seems to coincidentally spike. But in all that deliriousness and panic, somehow the show always comes together, and everything is beautiful and amazing even if I kind of forgot the choreography. I always feel so honored to be able to dance with all these girls, women, and professionals; going through rehearsals with old friends; making new friends; getting through the difficulties to make things happen. The girls especially are such good sports, putting up with my lackluster partnering skills. I know I’m slowly getting better at this, but the girls are definitely advancing way faster than me. I’m so inspired to be able to dance with them, to see that kind of focus and dedication, to see them grow up. It’s really going to be kind of sad when L. and S. graduate — they were the two that I feel like I grew up with in ballet (although that’s elevating myself to rather lofty heights) since they were the young level 5 girls when I started ballet, and now they’re the seniors who command the stage.

In any case, the two La Fille shows went really well in my opinion, despite some minor hiccups on my part. (The nice thing about comedy ballets is that if you mess up, it doesn’t necessarily look out of place.) It really seemed too short to just have a Friday evening and Saturday matinee show. Everything seemed to end before I knew it. On the other hand, it was nice having a Sunday to relax and unwind before the start of the week. And even if I don’t really like my worlds colliding, I’m also very grateful for my friends who came to see the show. It means a lot to me that all y’all would put up with seeing a full-length ballet.

I was going to write this long post about whether to move from sf. It was going to be titled “The Decision 2014” and have two arguments describing the pros and cons of moving or staying, with rebuttals and responses, all debate-like. But all my laziness in writing means that I’ve made the decision to move back closer to work before I’ve written that post, and I already regret my decision. I don’t think either choice would have been one I’d be happy with. The ledger is just too balanced, but in the end, feeling nauseous four or five days a week just doesn’t seem like a healthy thing for me. I just hope that I really will make good on my plan to visit my friends in the city more often than I did in my previous south bay stint.

It really sucks, though, because I never had much time to enjoy free time in the city. It’s not like I would have gone out a lot, but what with work and ballet and vacations like the JMT, a lot of time the past year was decidedly spent not within San Francisco. I can hardly believe that it’s been almost a year already. Time flies.

A. was trying to convince me to stay in sf, saying that life is about those Moments, not about all the time in between, and that staying in the city would enable more such moments. My roommate also brought up the good point that the marginal cost for moments would be so much lower if I stayed up here. But maybe moments shouldn’t be defined by a place. Or maybe I just want to make my life more challenging and difficult. Life might as well be an adventure.