Tempus fugit. Another year, another list of resolutions. 2012 had its moments of abject dejection as well as beauteous euphoria: high highs and low lows. In the broad sweep of things, I probably succeeded in my previous resolution of “taking everything to the next level,” although hindsight currently judges some levels to be lacking.
Indulge me in my metaphor that 2013 will be the year that I will cultivate myself as a plant: to not be afraid to grow some roots, and to prune those branches which bear no fruit.
This year, a list more ambitious and concrete:
- Get promoted. If I fuck this up this year, I’m not sure what I will do work-wise. Just need to stay focused and get things done.
- Not be afraid to say I love ballet. That, despite all the cognitive dissonance, this is something worthwhile and permanent for me. Also, to be at least 4x better at partnering; get to roughly the doll variation. Learn how to smile onstage.
- Buy a house/condo. Maybe the whims of fortune will change my plans, but I hope to have a place that I can call home.
- Be in a relationship. Last year was the first I went on a bona-fide date. (Not that it went well or anything, but it wasn’t a disaster as far as I can tell.) This year, the plan is to go from dipping my toes in the water to jumping off the deep end. I know that this will require letting a lot of things (and probably a particular person) go, putting myself out there a lot more and feeling the stinging pain of vulnerability, and even changing parts of who I am. But it’ll be worth it to fill that last hole, to be in a state where I can believe in love again, won’t it?
- Not be too depressed about that birthday on the horizon.